If only I knew
by Fleuve d'Etoile
Summary: Happens after chapter 334, using different characters' points of view. WARNING : don't read if you are not aware of the latest events (though even if you haven't read it, you're probably aware by now). A Gruvia fanfic, involving other characters. Different ending from some other fanfics I've read about those events.


Those events happen after chapter 334, so I warn you once again, if you haven't read the chapter, and if by any chance, you managed not to read any spoilers, don't read until you have.

This story is not really what I expect to happen, or even what I want to happen. I hope Mashima will surprise us, but even without surprise, the most important thing for me is to see Gray come back to life, so I won't mind if it was all a fantasy, something happening in Juvia's mind, anything as long as he's alive.

**Disclaimer :I don't own Fairy Tail.**

This said, I hope you'll enjoy the story!

* * *

"GRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Silence.

She didn't cry. She just ran to his lifeless body and covered it with her own, desperately trying to protect him from something that couldn't touch him anymore.

"Gray..."

Lyon had forgotten about everything around him. Shaking, he reached to Juvia, but stopped halfway.

_This can't be true._

His fellow pupil. His little brother.

Violence.

This was what described what just happened. Violence. He had not even had the time to say anything. As soon as he touched the floor, it was over.

Lyon didn't know how long he had been standing there, watching a calm Juvia on his best friend's dead body. He was vaguely annoyed to see her so close to him, as if there was still some remnants of who he was before, before Gray's death. Thinking about that stupid detail, he wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry.

He wanted to die.

Suddenly, everything became clear again. The silent bubble in which he had been for seconds – or for minutes, as far as he could know – exploded, and he could hear everything, the noise, the danger around them. Strangely, he didn't even think about killing the creatures that had killed him. He was only concerned about one thing. Reaching out once again, he was about to make her stand up, to wake her up from that nightmare only to let her realize it was reality.

"Juvia, we have to go..."

Juvia got up, carefully holding Gray in her arms. She was stronger than she seemed, Lyon thought.

He got closer, with the intent to help her, but she didn't let him.

"No," she said in a weak voice. "I'll carry him, it would be dangerous if... I'll carry him so that he can't be hurt anymore than that. Please cover for me."

* * *

_If only..._

_I want them back. My friends. My love. What's in the past is in the past._

_Not this time. Because this time, I will do everything to save them. But I might die before I have the chance to. So in order to fulfill my wish, I, Lucy Heartfilia, write those lines so that someone finishes what I came back to do._

Lucy couldn't believe her eyes. She barely knew what was going to happen next, even though she had heard from her future self that everyone had died. It was difficult to believe that such an unacceptable future had come true. But what she had in her hands made it real. She was reading this unavoidable future instead of living it.

She wouldn't let that happen.

_Gray was the first one to fall._

Lucy felt nauseous. She forced herself to keep reading.

_I was not there but I could feel it. When I heard that scream, I knew something was happening. It was not the scream of someone telling him to be careful, or of someone calling for him to ask for help._

_It was the scream of despair._

_Fairy Tail is never desperate. We always find ways, so I didn't want to believe it. However, I could not ignore the ache I felt inside my heart. If only I knew..._

[…]

After she finished reading everything, she felt the urge to tear the diary, as if to erase its intolerable content. Instead, she wiped her tears and decided to act.

* * *

_I should have died seven years ago._

"Crime Sorcière, a dark guild that helps innocent people? Tch."

Ultear smiled. Actually, it _was_ a "good" dark guild. Only she did not deserve to be part of it. Why didn't she die at that time?

_Oh. Right._

Meredy's face appeared. Her guardian angel. Her sister. Even though she would have never told her, since the pink-haired girl wanted her to be her mother. As if Meredy was protected by her. The truth is, Ultear was the one who was always protected.

"A mother..."

She knew her mother wouldn't agree with her decision. Her sweet, sweet mother. Why was she so different from her? Even when she thought of her as a heartless mother who had abandonned her child, she always looked up to her, trying to be like her. Maybe it was the reason why she had become a heartless daughter?

No, she couldn't say such a thing, it would sully her memory.

"Mother, it's a pity we are not next to the sea today. I wanted to see you again before it all ends. What a silly, selfish wish."

But she was a threat, even after all those years. Ending her own life would be her last attempt to save the world. She hoped Meredy and Jellal would forgive her.

"Ultear!"

She turned around to see who had called her.

"I need your help, it's ser- what were you doing?"

Lucy had just arrived, panting. Ultear quickly made her ice sword disappear.

"What is it?"

Lucy still seemed suspicious.

"It's Gray," she finally said.

Horrified, Ultear realized something was wrong. She had heard a scream a few minutes earlier but she had not focused on what the person crying was saying. She just realized it was Gray's name.

"Is he..?"

Lucy was starting to cry.

"I'm not sure, but I think... Anyway there's still something we can do. _You_ can do. Help me."

She handed her an old diary on which were written the words _Property of Lucy Heartfilia_. Ultear didn't undestand.

"It's my future self's diary. She's... She's not there anymore."

"I know," Ultear whispered, sorry.

She started to read the page Lucy was showing her, though it was difficult to understand some words because the ink was blurred. Ultear realized it was probably because of the writer's tears.

"She wants us to stop what happened in her future. I don't know when the events written in that diary started, I just found it. Even if it's too late, maybe we still have time. But time is precious, so let's go."

Death could wait, Ultear thought. Right now, life needed her.

* * *

She wanted to cry but she knew her water body would not survive such sorrow if she started letting out her tears. But even so, why bother living in a world where he was not there anymore?

"It's strange. I have accepted it. If I had been in denial, maybe it would have been easier for me."

But Juvia was already aware that the love of her life was dead. She knew it. But she didn't want anyone to get close to his body. His fragile body, that couldn't survive those attacks. Who knew what might happen if someone were to touch it again. Why was a human body so frail? Why was it him instead of her?

_Why did you protect me?_

She had covered him with a blanket, because it was too difficult to see those wounds. Despite that, her only wish was to stay there beside what remained of him in this world. Before letting go, she needed to know that his existence was not just a dream.

She suddenly heard some noises. If it was an enemy, she didn't know what to do. Actually, she just wanted to stay there for days, for years. Dying? No, she couldn't. Not after what she had said to that little girl seven years ago.

"_You have to live for the ones you love!"_

She loved him, but she was also needed elsewhere. She knew it. His existence was the most precious one on earth, but her own existence was important as well. That's why, if it was an enemy coming, she had to fight, to try.

The noises got closer. She slowly raised her head, still wondering how she would find the strength to fight back. But it was only Ultear and Lucy.

Now she was wondering how she would find the strength to tell them. Accepting is one thing, saying it outloud is another.

"Gray..." Lucy said, on the edge of crying.

How did she know? Oh, Lyon probably told them.

Lucy got near his body and took off the blanket.

"DON'T!"

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity to her, Juvia moved. She stepped between the body and the two girls.

"Juvia," Lucy pleaded, "you have to trust us."

Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. Were they trying to save him?

She shook her head, forbidding herself from letting hope taking hold of her.

"Juvia, leave!"

It was Meredy, who had just come behind Ultear and Lucy. Not really knowing why, she complied and stepped aside.

"Do you think we still have enough time? We don't even know if it's going to work. I mean, normally, my magic doesn't have any effect on what's alive."

"We have to try, it's the only way right now," Lucy answered.

"What... what are you going to do?" Juvia said, realizing she was starting to cry.

_Oh no, please, don't let me have any feelings._

"Meredy, I'll count to three. One. Two. Three!"

A big sphere appeared, embracing both Ultear and Gray's body. In the mean time, Juvia could see that a bright ribbon was linking Ultear's wrist to what she supposed was Gray's wrist – though she still avoided to look directly at him. Ultear closed her eyes and focused.

"What is happening? Tell me, what is going on, don't tell me that... don't tell me..." Juvia started to ask.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't ask the question, because asking it would mean starting to hope, and there was no place for hope.

The sphere started trembling, and though Juvia didn't know anything anymore, her body could naturally feel that a great amount of magic was coming from it. It became brighter and brighter. The walls were shaking.

Then everything stopped. The bright bubble disappeared, and Ultear collapsed on the floor.

"Ultear!"

Meredy knelt down next to her, while Lucy took care of Gray.

"His wounds. They disappeared. But he's still not breathing."

She had a monotonous, cold voice.

"What's going to happen now?" Meredy asked Lucy. "What exactly did that diary say?"

"I don't really know what will happen. She – I mean, my future self – mentionned that researchers developped, or rather, _will_ develop some ways to increase human abilities, in every field, but especially in magic of time, to increase our chances of survival in a world dominated by dragons. She talked about a technique which included the arc of time, but we still needed a way to forcefully create a link because it normally wouldn't work on cor...corpses; that's why we needed you. However, neither my future self, nor I or Ultear, knew how it would exactly work.

"But didn't you say the key to that attempt was second origin?"

"Yes."

"Do you really think something like his second origin could save him?"

"No, it's not like that – he's still not breathing – it's not his, but hers. Ultear gave him her second origin. This extra-ability we all had thanks to her unlocking our second origin could not save us from dying if we got such serious wounds. However, the container in which our second origin resides is still there after a while, even if we die. That's what my future self said. When he... when he died, every ounce of magic within his body disappeared, but his body could still accept magic, if we managed to reverse the process which resulted in Ultear unlocking his second origin."

"But Ultear can't use her arc of time on living things."

Juvia didn't understand anything. She was assimilating everything that was being said, but she didn't know where it led to.

"That's where my future self is impressive," Lucy answered with a little sad smile. "When Ultear used her improved arc of time, she used it on our bodies to unlock our second origin. It probably didn't directly involve changing the reality of time, but it was linked. My future self realized that. She knew something could be done about that, and it was a rash hypothesis but she wasn't wrong. See?"

She pointed her finger at Gray's chest. For the first time, Juvia managed to look at him.

His chest was slowly rising.

* * *

_Oy. This shouldn't be happening._

The last thing he remembered was the sudden absence of pain. It was vaguely comforting, though at that time, he knew it was not a good thing. So why did it hurt so much right now?

_Tch. I thought the afterlife was easier to deal with. How naive._

Slowly remembering. Everything. Everybody.

Her.

_Oh no. I don't want to be dead._

_And why the fuck does it hurt so much?_

His body was aching but he was too numb to do something about it. Every single vessel of his wanted the pain to stop, but his mind only wanted to tell her something. _I'm fine. Don't be sad. I don't regret anything._

Gradually, he started to feel cold.

_Ha, so funny, I'm going to die over and over again._

Then he started to vaguely hear some voices. And the noises suddenly became clear, overwhelming, in an explosion of sounds of all sorts.

"-and she gave him her second origin."

_Lucy's voice?_

"She was the only one who could do that, and now she doesn't have it anymore. So it's the last time she can do that. For a mage, life and magic are tightly linked, and as soon as his body had magic inside it again, he came back to life. Fortunately, we weren't too late. And in the mean time, her special abilities could reverse those terrible wounds, so that his body was able to receive this amount of magic."

"Ultear is definitely amazing," another voice said.

_Meredy. Are they dead as well or is it my imagination?_

"No... No, it's... impossible..."

That was the most heartbreaking voice he had ever heard. It was muffled, which made it difficult to understand, and the person was obviously crying. But the worst part was that Gray knew this voice too well to ignore the uneasy feeling that took over him.

_No... Even though I tried to save her... Even so, Juvia, she..._

He heard a faint noise next to him. Someone coughing. And as if his body only needed to assimilate something like that was possible, he started coughing as well.

Then a thought occurred to him.

_I am not dead._

_What the hell._

The coughing shook all his body, making him feel the pain even more, but it didn't matter. He opened his eyes. He was now able to move again.

"GRAY!"

It was Lucy. He could see her close to her, about to take him in her arms but she didn't, probably afraid to hurt him. How bad did he look?

"Ultear! Are you alright?" Meredy asked.

"It worked?" Ultear asked in a weak voice.

"What happened..." Gray asked, starting to get up. "Juvia?"

She had fallen at his feet, silently shaking.

"No... This can't be..." she couldn't control her trembling.

It hurt to see her in such despair.

"Hey. Look at me."

He got close to her, still sitting on the ground. Not daring to look at him, she let him take her in his arms. She bursted out crying.

"There, there, everything's okay," he said, gently caressing her back. "What happened?" he asked again to the others. "I feel kinda... weird."

"Yeah, sure you do," Ultear answered ironically. "It's not everyday that you can hold such a cute girl in your arms, don't take advantage of her even though you feel _weird_."

_Stupid old hag... You're the one who saved me, right? Thank you._

Ultear was smiling at him, teary-eyed.

"We'll explain everything to you," Lucy said, unable to stop smiling as well. "Now I have to take care of something else. Make sure to get some rest, Gray."

"What rest, are you kidding? The fight is not over, is it?"

"Just stay there for a while, she needs you," Meredy added.

He was still holding her in his arms. He thought that with everything that had happened, there was no chance she would ever let go of him.

_How silly to think that. I am the one holding her tight, after all._

He smiled.

"Look at me," he repeated.

She backed away a little, and watched him. Oh god, she was so beautiful. He watched her as well, trying to remember every single detail on her face.

He suddenly recalled the last thing he had told her.

"I need to tell you something."

She unexpectedly became tense, afraid.

"No, don't say anything, the last time you said that, you..."

"It's important. Don't worry about what happened earlier."

"I c-can't!"

She hid her face in his chest, like a little girl.

"Okay, okay, there, I won't say anything."

He held her tighter, so tight he could feel she had difficulty breathing. But he also felt she didn't want him to let go, so he didn't stop.

_I love you._

* * *

**Hello again!**

After reading the last chapter, like most of you, I was really shocked, and like some of you who posted fanfictions about what happened, or about what would happen next, the main reason why I wrote this one was to express what I felt, because I kept thinking about it and I didn't want it to stop me from thinking about something else. Moreover, yesterday was my birthday, and I kinda hoped Mashima would make a chapter which focused on Cobra (I really like that character and I hope he sees Kinana soon) but instead, that's what happened... So I'm a little pissed at him but I know very well those moments are necessary to make a good story. I want to think he's not dead despite the violence of the scene, because he still has to tell Juvia what he started to say (strangely, I hope it's not a confession, but something silly XD).

Anyway, this was to say that I needed to "create" a story in which everything goes well in order to stop focusing on it and to be able to wait till next week. And as for the possibility of him not surviving after all, well I'll think about it later.

Now about the content, if you didn't understand the stupid "twist" which involved Ultear's magic, well it doesn't really matter, it was just something I came up with to justify Gray's coming back to life... I felt that if something could be done, it had to involve Ultear, so that's what I decided to do. But I'll still explain it more clearly: to put it simply, Ultear needed Meredy's power to create a link between Gray and herself, to reverse Gray's wounds using her own second origin - my wild guess is that after seven years, she can use her arc of time on living things, which is why she was able to unlock everybody's second origin - , and to transfer her second origin's power in his empty container. For a mage, life and magical power are linked, so with Ultear's magic transfered, and with his wounds disappearing, he could come back to life.

I'm not sure if my explanation is clearer than in the story, and I'm not saying it's a proper theory, or a guess on what will happen. I actually don't really care about the possibility of anything close to that happening (in the end, it's still a story about resurrection, so there's no logic that could justify that) but I needed to explain it and to make it this complicated so that Ultear can't do that over and over again, otherwise, death wouldn't be that important since she would be able to make anybody alive again.

**/end of explanation.**

Now, to those who read everything, I'm thankful ^^ (I should stop writing so much after my fanfics, nobody is interested in my aftermath thoughts... XD)

One last thing : I feel I could turn this into a several-chapter story. Future Lucy's diary contained information about everybody that had died, so that someone could stop that from happening, and Gray was only the first on the list, so Lucy might follow the rest of the diary to save the others, and it could be the start of another story. However I already have two ongoing stories which I left behind, so nothing is certain. As usual, reviews are welcome!


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